My First

" Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest"

You were my first everything
My first best friend
The first person i let see me cry
The first person who cried to me
And the first person I tried to fix
My first same sex crush
My first real kiss
The first, and only, person to get me to drink
The first person i gave my everything to            
The first person who promised to be there no matter what
...no matter what...
The first person to use me as a punching bag. A pet. A Yes man.
... A marionette
And the first person to shatter me.

" I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much. You were drowning in the water, so i offered you my hand, I left my heart open but you didn't understand. Go Fix Yourself"

I cut my strings
And once I did
I became nothing but a broken toy to you.
What do you do with broken toys?
Apparently you throw them in the trash.
Leave them to rot
But i've got news for you love.
I've found someone who took me out of the trash.
Who cleaned me up and put me back together
But i am no longer a marionette.
I no longer have strings tying me down
Controling me
Contourting me
I'm becoming myself again
Not who you made me become.

You're not worth my tears
Your not even worth these words I write to you.
And yet... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I couldn't fix you.
I tried, i really tried..

"I can't help you fix yourself. But at least I can say i tried. I'm sorry but i've got to move on with my own life..."